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There and Back Again

by Teleri

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1.
Agoraphobe 02:42
have you breathed the air or just nicotine today's a waste or so it seems you count your grievances while I bathe in the sea you called me names unfit to repeat you'll die indoors of this I'm sure you berate the sun dare to drown all your fun I can't sympathize I can't meet your eye I note the trees but you always say the same to me if I go outside if I go outside if I go outside it'll be too late too dense too mean too rigorous too bright too unclean you'll never see the vibrancy no indication ever gleaned if I go outside if I go outside if I go outside
2.
oh you feel like a weight on my chest you know that you gouged at my nerve made me draw out every word ask every day the best bit of this space is this house a home the more I look the more I don't know take your games be on your way know when you go you'll owe me everything you own should I should I, oh enough to let the feeling go when we sleep turn pillow and cheek close off shut eyes the closest to the stillness I run from this place when I have the strength your escapades make me sink you don't explain you feel like a weight and fuck your perfect taste what's left to do when logic leaves me sense leaves you I've gone and grown this bird has flown know when you go you'll owe me everything you own should I should I, oh enough to let the feeling go I love you and to play the fool I hurt more than I help, right?
3.
Slithy 03:05
is this feeling universal am I a pill away from equilibrium we move effortlessly towards purgatory I brood inconspicuous removed I tread soft at first I tread light in your shoes I smoulder I steep I covet, snatch, and keep I boil don't breathe I rage then light I rage then light I see gold, maroon, and copper heaves of course they came to me I brought them to me I brought them to me I riffled through your things thoughtlessly intentionally I found what I was looking for woe is me eternally it won't change if I don't change
4.
Between Us 01:11
I can feel but can't say what is moving me it's in the air
5.
NFLD 02:35
i know it shows you call out to me no powerful words but the energy seeks a stillness you would not receive when I offered it up a gasp of reprieve I know it shows you crawl along the creek over broken birch branches and fallen oak leaves holding space eternally for this holy old ceremony I know it shows we came all this way to the edge of something unending and grey I strung together all the words but to say them aloud I haven't the nerve recoil witlessly think of the tree inside of the seed viscous and vile trite, trim, and tired kept a pinprick of feeling ineffable, revealing rightly welcomed the darksome decade a whole new life now awaits I caught your wee cold pure gold and holy old
6.
Silver 03:21
I panic aloud I panic nobody hears nobody's here the old room amasses soot my heart's done, spent, kaput too sore to take more I'm mad of particular dreams these are illusionary seams I'll disperse and join the universe I know I'm a sensitive soul the drop of a hat provokes my worst woe oh, so, so, you ought know I rain to grow you wouldn't understand such a thing I've seen you keep from listening easily dumbfounded I can't be sorry for feeling so intimately so suffocatingly I honestly come by it honesty I need to be this soft I know it's unbecoming because I've been told by teachers and lovers who scold and shame palpable feeling a poet, a flaneur, a waste you said it to a child's face you clever, curse, condemn take science and art separate them then everything dims you think I don't know quick, tarnished or moonlight the silver is silver all the same
7.
Mile End 02:43
we moved from Monk to Mile End I would have walked but you wouldn't you wield a tidal force your energy I did absorb oh sage force your light source has me outside shivering again you cut the wrong key on purpose I so hate when you go long you stomped off, you got stuffed, got gone I was, I was wrong low-light and your hip bar bangs so I hide every pang I smell the salt of the sea you don't believe me you wield a golden orb your energy I did absorb oh sage force you light source has me outside shivering again you cut the wrong key on purpose I so hate when you go long you stomped off, you got stuffed, got gone I was, I was wrong Monk, malaise, microscopic movement myopic, morose, moot, milk it matter, moon, mania, manifest motion, mend, Mile End my old friend
8.
Hemlock 03:29
dreamt the most vivid green named it after you fool me every time swell with gross laughter regain the upper-hand to cut me down to size co-opt all the lies we grew up craving you'll spend your lovely life waiting for change a change to grow, to give a horizon I told you twice don't you forget about the place you found your peace eased your tense shoulders filled your with smoke grew instantly calm blind-sided by the still aching, shaking you'll spend all your time waiting for change a change to grow, to give a horizon I told you twice I warned you I did why do you shrink your light why do you hold it so tight like I was holding you all through the night like I was holding you when I told you hang tight don't forget about your hideaway don't forget the tide, the marsh, the clay even only half as much as you say touch, move, express, cultivate I was here for your glow your glorious glow I was here to bemoan to call you on your motionless apropos I was here to give you a push to the door
9.
Ineffable 04:07
froze for the moonrise you were gathering bits of the ocean you saw shimmering the stars sparked silver the sea life in their depths you drew the colour of Luna with your breath my dark wits mock me oh I was fumbling the same old words and lofty sentiments it never dulls oscillating atoms waters ebb and flow I sigh ineffable I don't even try to find the words... how are you so kind after everything is there nothing in you of justice or revenge I was quite like that when I was with the trees is that why you brought me to the sea I hold you so high in the troposphere you radiate the joy you've experienced I'd stay here always but for my navy spells where I wade deep almost deep enough it never seems to dull to me atoms oscillating in your very being I'm quite content just to watch the tide rising slow encroaching on the high water line language never does us any good the words fall short I weave them for warmth you caught a moondrop in your cup it never dulls
10.
Trash 03:01
hold onto the bed the floor beneath is bubbling and all the words we ever heard were just idle drumming cruel as it may seem a virus purge a bacterial dirge sulphur, fire, choke, quiver humankind polluted the river Gaia do what you must jilt them they aren't lovers Gaia free yourself they deserve to feel their mother smother them out hold onto your head I can't believe its coming sulphur, fire, choke, quiver humankind polluted the river Gaia do what you must jilt them they aren't lovers Gaia free yourself they deserve to feel their mother smother them out smoke ash ruin all our doing get it through your head absond or face her reckoning

credits

released July 29, 2022

All songs written and performed by Teleri

Recorded and Produced by Ben Brennan

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Teleri Halifax, Nova Scotia

aesthetic poisons
& abject cures



linktr.ee/teleri

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